Letting her go
by lexie-king
Summary: Mere weeks after the War, Draco loses everything. Unable to cope he goes back to Hogwarts. Returning is the hard part. Heavy angst. Rated T for now. Dramione in the future .
1. Chapter 1

Losing her

Chapter 1: Never again

Set weeks after Deathly Hallows. Dramione down the road.

"I hear her scream, from down the hall

Amazing she can even talk at all

She cries to me, Go back to bed

I'm terrified that she'll wind up

Dead in his hands, She's just a woman" ~Nickleback

St. Mungo: May 31, 1998

Tears streaming down Draco's face as he's being restrained by multiple aurors. "Please, no she's all that I have! I can't LEAVE HER!" He shouted desperately. His mother was fading away into nothingness before his eyes. She would be gone within the hour, "Let him go." Said a Gruff voice laced with sympathy. "Shacklebolt." One of the men started but got cut off. "I'm telling you Matthew, back off and let him say goodbye." Kingsley commanded.

As they released the hysterical, beaten seventeen year old, he scrambled over to the closed off room that contained Narcissa's frail frame, slamming the door behind him. Slowly he laid in the bed with her. She opened her eyes and smiled as well as she could in her state. She wrapped her arms around her only son. "Hey Dra-" she started violently coughing. "Shh, don't talk, Mother I love you!" He felt like he had to say it. This was the woman that lied to the Dark Lord just to see that he was alive. This was the only parent that really gave a damn about him. He had to let her know.

"Draco, baby it's okay." He knew what she was trying to say but he shook his head, still in denial, he couldn't fathom losing her. Looking at her, he saw the pain she was in, even in her sedated state. "C-come o-n, Mum, l-lets get out of here." Her breathing was becoming lighter.

There was a knock on the door, and Draco's Aunt Andromeda walked in. "Oh Cissy." Looking at her baby sister, she cursed Lucius and damned him with every cell of her being. As she looked at her nephew, cuddled next to his mother on the bed in near fetal position because of his pathetic excuse of a father. She only knew a little of it, and that's what scared her. "Is she..." Draco shook his head. "Almost." He choked out. Andromeda walked over to the bed. Narcissa's eyes drifted over. "Andy, I'm so sorry." "No don't talk about that, just do me a favor okay, tell my daughter and son in law and my husband that I love them and miss them so much." "Of course, Can you look after Draco for me? His birthday is next week. " She said breathlessly. Chills went down Andromeda's back, ignoring them, she replied, "Consider it done."

Narcissa's body started spasming violently, "What do we do?" She asked Draco, who was near catatonic. She rushed out of the room, "Help!" Once she found someone they made it to the door "M-mom, no!" an agonized scream. Andromeda's heart broke at the sound of Draco's voice. She shook her head at the healer.

Kingsley was sitting across the room stood up and walked over to her. "Mrs. Tonks?" "Oh, you can't tell me you're here to arrest him." "He-" "Lucius deserved it, Kingsley that poor boy just literally lost his mother, because of that beast. Please don't do this. He's going to stay with me. I made a promise to my sister and damn it, I'm keeping it." With that she walked in the room.

Draco was rocking back and forth, holding Narcissa. He was sobbing, his hair was disheveled, he kept muttering something that sounded like "I love you." Carefully approaching Draco, she pried him off of his mother and wrapped her arms around him, and just held him for what seemed hours, his cries were turning to hiccups. Her heart broke in a million pieces when they came to take Narcissa's body, that was hard for her and Draco. The healer that came with Andromeda the first time, gave her two potions. Both labeled Calming Draught. She gave one to Draco, he took it, instantly feeling it's effects. She was going to save hers till later. She wrapped her arm tightly around her nephew and guided him out of the room.

* * *

_***flashback***_

_**The War effected all sides, to Lucius it took everything that he was. Before he was a proud, powerful aristocrat, that had everything and more. A few weeks after the war, he lost his mind completely.**_

_**After drinking way too much Firewhiskey, he came back to the Manor with a knocked out muggle girl. "DRACO!" He shouted! Narcissa was in the room with Draco, "Stay here, I'll be back" "Mother, no" she was out of the room before he finished.**_

_**He started pacing the floor until he heard a scream. His heart skipped a beat. He was down in the main drawing room as fast as he could. What he saw made him retch. His mother was unconscious in his fathers arm. He was holding her wand which was pointed at a girl about his age.**_

_**"Ah, Draco! I went hunting. Take care of it!"**_

_**"No."**_

_**"No? Draco, I expected better of you. It's very easy, all you have to do is say Avada Kedavra" Green light ejected from the wand and the poor girl was dead. "Look what you made me do." he dropped Narcissa and shoved Draco against the wall and started beating Draco**_

_**"STOP IT" Narcissa had woken up. In his drunken rage Lucius threw the wand down and everything that happened next was a blur.**_

* * *

_**TBC**_

_**A/N: Let me know what you think.**_


	2. Chapter 2: One

_**One**_

_**"There's Not Much Left of Me Nothing Is Real but Pain Now Hold My Breath as I Wish for Death Oh Please God,wake me"**_

_**~:Metallica**_

* * *

**-Flashback continued.**

**Green light ejected from the wand and the poor girl was dead. "Look what you made me do." he dropped Narcissa and shoved Draco against the wall and started beating Draco. He had difficulty breathing, no you have to protect mother. His subconscious willed him. Every movement was painful.**

**"STOP IT" Narcissa had woken up. In his drunken rage Lucius threw the wand down and everything that happened next was a blur.**

**Wordlessly Lucius cursed his wife. Agony erupted through her, breathless she tried crawling towards her wand. He's never been this bad. Especially not in front of Draco. Noticing what she was doing, Lucius curse her again.**

**This curse ripped through her body, it felt worse than the Cruicatius curse. Imagine having thousands of flaming sharp arrows stab you in your core while being set on fire, now times that by 100. There's nothing more painful. Please let this be a messed up dream. She thought as she screamed. Blackness engulfed her.**

**"No!" Draco quickly snatched The wand up,"Avada Kedavra." His father got hit, and tumbled down the staircase.**

**Horrified by what he just did, tears erupted as he apparated him and his mother to St. Mungos. "HELP, please I need help this is my mother!" She was barely breathing. She has be okay. "What happened?" A healer with short brown hair. "I-I killed him." That was all he could say. "what's your name?" "Malfoy, Draco Malfoy." "We'll do what we can for your mother. Christine, come take care of this one, he's pretty beat up."**

**A half an hour later, he heard the news. The world had seized spinning. Narcissa was dying. They couldn't figure out what curse was used on her. Due to Draco's confession, they alerted the aurors.**

* * *

*Back to Reality*

Once Andromeda and Draco made it back to her house, baby Teddy started crying. "Feel free to anything, Ill be right back. After grabbing the baby who was sporting teal blue hair and a pigs nose and changing him, she walked back into the room. "Draco listen, I want you to know you can stay here as long as you need. I know we don't really know each other."

"Why are you doing this, then?" His voice sounded as exhausted as he looked.

"I promised your mother that I would look after you." She started to think about when she found out what happened, she was at the Weaslys' with Teddy. Arthur told her that he just found out something happened at the Manor, and Narcissa was in critical condition. For a while she fought with herself. Sure her and her sister's relationship definitely improved within the last few weeks. But it was still awkward.

"Am I going to be arrested?" She heard how terrified he sounded. She fought the urge to hold him. Hell no! Over her dead body.

"I'll be damned. You didn't do anything wrong, it was self defense. Kingsley isn't stupid. " Her voice was soft, almost comforting.

"Can I hold the baby?" Andromeda smiled. She handed the sleeping infant to him. Smiling at the way his face lit up, "hey-" "His name's Teddy." "Thanks. Hey Teddy." He handled the baby like he was fine china.

Draco just talked to the baby, he didn't want to sleep, even though his body was protesting. Sleep meant dreams and he wasn't ready relive it just yet. Noticing the way his eyes started drooping, Andromeda said, "Here, I'll take him and you need to some sleep."

"What's going to happen about my mothers funeral?" He said just saying mother and funeral in the same sentence was the same as bearing the world on his shoulders.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow. Okay? Ill go get you a blanket." She was gone 5 minutes. He was asleep when she got back. As she laid the blanket on him, she took time to really study her nephew. His eyes were rubbed raw, his nose was red. He looked so much like his father that it was scary. She's heard a few chose things about the sleeping boy before her, but she could see he had his mother's personality.

It angered her, though she wasn't sure which part angered her more. The fact that her sister died so soon by her husbands hands or the fact that Draco was an orphan just before his birthday. "Sleep well." She whispered.

* * *

Needless to say, he didn't. He saw everything that happened to his mother again, he heard her screams. He relived everything that happened at the Manor during the war. Every murder, every scream, every plea. He relived how helpless he was during all of this.

He didn't realize he was screaming until he felt someone's hand touch his face, calling his name. Slowly regaining consciousness, he saw his aunt, not Andromeda but Bellatrix. Oh god, this was bad. Not waiting for the swings to began he shouted, "NO IM SORRY!" He leaped over the couch cowering in the closest corner he could find. Now he knew things were about to be getting bad, Bellatrix always got pissed off when he did that.

Slowly and ever so quietly just so she wouldn't scare him again, she embraced the weeping boy. She held him, even though he was trying to get away. "Shh, it's ok." She started humming something she'd sing to Dora when she'd have nightmares. His attempts at trying to escape finally started to die down.

"What happened?" "I-I-I saw everything." That was all he could say. "Draco, look at me! Nothing's going to happen, okay?" "My mother said the same thing, sh-sh-she told me to-to stay in that bloody room. Now she's dead."

All she knew of what happened was that it was Lucius's fault, and Draco killed him. She didn't know the actual details. "I'll get you a dreamless potion, it's going to be a long day tomorrow you need rest."

* * *

Thank you for your support!


	3. Chapter 3: Slipped Away

**_Slipped away:_**

**_I've had my wake up, won't you wake up_**  
**_I keep asking why?_**  
**_And I can't take it, it wasn't fake it_**  
**_It happened you passed by_**  
**_Now you're gone, now you're gone_**  
**_There you go, there you go_**  
**_Somewhere I can't bring you back_**

**_Avril Lavigne_**

* * *

June 3rd

Andromeda's house:

Andromeda woke up to Teddy crying this time. Groaning she walked downstairs to wake Draco, to her surprise he was already awake. Glancing at the almost black circles under the young man's eyes, "How'd you sleep?" "Ok, I guess." "You didn't take your potion." He shook his head. Sighing, she said "Listen, after Cissy's Funeral, We have to run by the Weasley's house. Arthur's helping me find you a lawyer. It's just in case. Draco, say something, please." He was dazed.

"I don't want to go. If I go then that really makes it final. I don't know if I can deal with it."

The past two days were hard, Andromeda would wake up to Draco's screaming, she knew he wouldn't sleep right for a really long time. "You have me. You're not as alone as you think."

Draco thought to himself, I need a drink. Andromeda chuckled, "I got Firewhiskey and vodka in the basement. You'll have to wait till later." "How did?" His aunt smiled, "I was 18 once myself." She stood up and walked out of the room.

The Funeral:

Draco nearly lost it at the funeral. He walked in the room that contained Narcissa's body, no one else was there, so Andromeda told him to go see her. Narcissa lain in a solid white casket, with the way her long pale white hair cascaded down had her looking asleep. "Wake up, damn it, please I need you." Draco begged the corpse. He loved her with everything he was, but right in that moment he couldn't stand her, she left him. Anger pulsed through his shouted "Why didn't you let me go, I could have took him?! How could you think I'd be to live without you?" He broke down sobbing. Andromeda knocked on the door, "There are some people who'd like to pay their respects." The turnout was more than Draco thought.

The Burrow:

Ginny and Harry were getting married on August 30th, the last day before term starts. The idea of returning to Hogwarts made Hermione's stomach churn, but Ron, Harry and Ginny were going back. So what the hell?

Hermione relaxed at the idea of finally being able to relaxed. Ron saw Hermione was sitting on the couch, over the past few weeks things were great if not perfect. Walking up behind her hoping to surprise her, "Hello Ronald." He was horrified "How,what?" "You were breathing too loud." "Bloody hell. You women!" He shook his head. Hermione laughed. Molly walked into the living room, "Andromeda is stopping by for a little bit, she's bringing Draco, so you better behave and send her in the kitchen, will you?" "Why is she bring that slimy git." Molly was in the kitchen before he could finish.

Ginny and Harry walked in. "Mail's here." She plopped it in the table. "Hey Harry, your godson's on his way." Ron informed him. "I didn't know Andromeda was coming today." "Ah,bug her." "RON." Hermione scolded him. "What, oh and apparently she's bringing Malfoy." No one really heard that part.

Before anyone could say anything there was a knock on the door. "She's here." Ron whined. Ginny rolled her eyes and answered the door. Her eyes nearly popped out of her skull seeing Draco Malfoy who looked like shit holding Baby Teddy in her house.

"Can we come in?" Andromeda asked once Ginny recovered from her shock, she choked out. "Mom's in the kitchen." "Thank you." As they walked in, "The Hell?" Ron and Harry said at the same time. Clearly talking about Draco's worn down appearance. Andromeda gave them a "if you say something out of the way, you will be hexed into oblivion" look. Turning to her nephew, she softly said, "I'll be right back. Watch the baby." Breathe, I beg of you. She thought to herself.

Moments passed and nothing was said until Teddy started crying, Draco was trying his hardest to quiet the baby but all was for naught. "Come ere Teddy, we're going upstairs." Harry cooed to the baby. As Harry grabbed Teddy, he heard "Thanks." He's an imposter. Harry thought.

It was quiet again, feeling tired Draco started to look around until something caught his eye, the newspaper. As he grabbed the paper, he felt the color drain out of his face. His breathing became erratic after he saw the front page. "No, no, no!" He muttered frantically. Oh god he couldn't breathe. Why couldn't he breathe?

"Malfoy?" Ron started to take notice. He couldn't answer, so he tossed the paper down and was started bolting out the door. "What the-" grabbing the paper up, he soon understood. "Hermione what's today?" "Its June 3rd." "Gods I'm an ass. I'm going to get my mom."

Totally perplexed, Hermione glanced at the first page magazine, she felt her heart drop to the floor.

Massacre At Malfoy Manor."

June 1998

Mere weeks after You-Know-Who's demise, three people are dead after what seems to be a drunk night on the town. Two of the "victims" were Lucius Malfoy and his wife, Narcissa. Mr. Malfoy the latter being lain to rest earlier today-

That's all Hermione could read, not even waiting for Ron to come back, she jogged outside. There he was on the porch pacing, staring at the rain as it started pouring. "I'm sorry about your -" he cut her off. "I killed him." His voice broke. She barely heard him.

Shit?! What do you say when someone you grew up hating tells you that? "What happened?" She asked. He just shook his head, she figured it was too soon. "I'm sorry about whatever happened, and I know we're not friends, but if you want to talk just let me know." Figuring she should change the topic, "Are you going back to Hogwarts?"

He scoffed, "Do you really think anyone is going to want me back?" "You've got to try.." He laughed. "You sound like my mother." He didn't mean to say it. She noticed the way he flinched at the mention of her. Her heart went out to him.

Andromeda rushed out, "Wha- oh. Are you ready?" "Ready as I'll ever be." Looking at Mrs. Weasly, he asked politely, "May I use the loo?" "Follow me."

"Hermione, can you or Harry watch Teddy some tonight?"

"I'll do it, Harry and Ginny's got plans, hey, Andromeda, is he okay?"

Knowing that Hermione wasn't talking about Draco. "No. He'd tell you that he's fine but he's mostly scared." "I'm sorry about your sister." "Yeah me too." She replied.

Next Chapter: drunk confessions, and brief Dramione.

* * *

_**A/N: thanks for your support, seriously you guys are great. Let me know what you think.**_


	4. Chapter 4: Breathe

Breathe

Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while but my god it's so beautiful when that boy smiles I want to hold him maybe Ill just sing about it.

Anna Nalick

* * *

Hermione had everything ready for Andromeda's house. Her hair was in a French plait and She wore muggle clothes with tennis shoes. She grabbed a few snacks from the kitchen, when Ron rushed in, "Hermione, I've been looking for you, forever, well really an hour. Let's go out tonight! I have gotten us in this great restaurant-"

"I can't tonight, I told Andromeda I'd watch Teddy, while Ginny and Harry were out. I am so sorry."

Ron groaned,"It's fine. I'll move the reservation. How long are you going to be gone?"

"She didn't say."

"Of course not."

"Okay, what do you have against her?"

"She just gives me a weird vibe. Wait. Isn't Malfoy going to be there?"

"Probably, he doesn't have anywhere else go. Your dad said the Ministry's auctioning off his house."

"My point is why can't he watch him?"

"Do you really think Andromeda wants him to watch Teddy, right now?"

"Point taken, well good luck." Ron kissed her and went downstairs.

* * *

Once they made it back to Andromeda's house, Draco noticed a picture of a big bellied man, laying on the hearth. "Hey, Andromeda?" She walked in looking a little tired. "Who is this man?" She smiled sadly, "That is or was my husband, Ted. He left trying to protect me. He died during the War. My daughter died at Hogwarts"

"I'm really sorry."

Andromeda took it as he was sorry for her loss. "It's not your fault." She said, before humming walking out of room. She wasn't able to get over her family's deaths. It was only a few months after Ted's death and weeks after Dora and Remus's death, she was reconciling her relationship with Narcissa, before she died. She was having her own versions of nightmares; but she wouldn't break down. She couldn't break down. Draco and especially Teddy needed her to be strong.

* * *

An hour later.

"Don't you think you should slow down?" Andromeda asked watching her nephew down his ninth shot of whiskey. Maybe this was a mistake. "Nope." He said it, a little dazed.

If he was scared before, he was near full-on meltdown mode now. Kingsley sent an owl telling him that he was going to be charged with at least Lucius's death, that following week. Narcissa's death was still on the table. No lawyer was wanting anything to do with a former death eater's case. For all they were concerned, he should have been handed over to Azkaban, screw the trial.

"Okay, well I'm cutting you off, you are going to have one hell of a hangover." Your mother would kill me. She thought silently.

Draco muttered, absentmindedly "Yeah, I know."

She knew what he was thinking about. "Draco, you're not going to Azkaban."

His face was just emotionless "I just don't care anymore."

"Bull crap. Draco, you're terrified-"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW I FEEL!" It erupted before he could stop it. The sucky thing about having a case of word vomit when you're on your way to being completely plastered, is way too much ends up getting said. Color rushed to his ghost white face as he continued.

"I'm guilty. I killed my father. I've seen tons of innocent people get tortured and killed, and-and I did jack shit about it. I couldn't even save h-her." He wasn't done yet, "I still can't understand why you took me in, in the first place, you don't know me. Why do you even care?"

Andromeda was taken back by his outburst, it broke her heart. "You are so unbelievably wrong. You did save her, you were able to tell her you loved her, and if you would have tried to help any of those other people you would have been killed and she would have died anyway because you were her baby, her pride and joy. She wouldn't want you to give up. Stop blaming yourself for any of it, it's not your fault. Anyone in their right mind would have done the exact same thing as you. And I took you in because I lost my family too, hey, look at me!." she demanded, it took a minute for the bloodshot gray eyes to look at her. "You and Teddy are all that I have left."

There was a knock, she answered it. Hermione was standing there, Andromeda "Teddy's asleep, his food's in the fridge. Draco's here, but he's out of it right now."

Hermione frowned, "What's wrong other than the obvious?" "I thought it was a good idea to give a almost eighteen year old, whiskey. It was not my smartest decision." Andromeda snorted.

Hermione's eyes widened. "Oh."

"Yeah, listen I gotta go, so good luck I'll be back around 10. Thank you, again."

Hermione sighed. This was going to be a very long night. She walked in and Draco was siting on the couch. Yep, he was way gone. His cheeks were crimson, if he even noticed her, he made no effort in saying anything.

She sat in the black seat across from him. The house was very quiet, it almost reminded Hermione of her parents old house. She had found them after the war ended, and they had most of their memories but they weren't the same.

"When did you get here?" He spoke quietly, noticing she was there.

"I just got here. Andromeda wanted me to watch the baby."

"Oh, guess that makes sense."

"What are you doing for your birthday?" Hermione asked, trying to make conversation. She instantly regretted it. That going to be one hell for a birthday.

"I don't really know. Try to stay out of prison, maybe." His response wasn't so much sarcastic, as it was distracted.

Before she could ask about it, Teddy started crying up stairs. "Duty calls." Hermione muttered. "Hey Granger?" Hermione looked at him, "Yeah?" "I'm sorry about the way I treated all of you in school. I was just jealous, I guess. Things would have been so different if I would have just..." He started mixing up his words.

"Okay, how drunk are you?" Hermione was kind of freaked out.

He smiled, it was a genuine smile as far as she could tell, "Very." "Okay, I'm going to go see Teddy and you work on sobering up, okay?"

Hermione had a plan, it would take a miracle for it to actually work but damn it, she was going to try.

* * *

A/N:

Sorry it's taken so long, college sucks sometimes. Please review! Ask questions, love it, hate it something! Also I'm looking for a Beta if anyone is interested.


	5. Chapter 5: I'll be watching you

Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace.

I dream at night, I can only see your face.

I look around but it's you I can't replace.

I feel so cold, and I long for your embrace

The Police

* * *

Hermione walked downstairs to grab Teddy's food and Malfoy, eh, Draco she had to remember that, wasn't there. Hmm. Maybe he went to the loo? She was getting a little worried, what if he passed out? Walking to the bathroom, she knocked. Nothing. When she opened the door, still nothing. Shit, what now?

* * *

Ministry of Magic:

Kingsley was having a bad day. Between the raids that the Ministry's had to conduct that day and with the remaining Death Eater Trials, he was pooped.

"Minister Shacklebolt, Mrs. Tonks is here to see you, sir. She's quite agitated." Oh crap he forgot to tell her the news. This days was about to get so much worse.

"Okay Janine, bring her in."

Andromeda walked in, if looks could kill, Kingsley would be deader than dirt. "And-" she cut him off.

"You told us you'd help us and then you send me this!" She slammed the letter she received earlier that day on the desk. "And-" "Kingsley you have to do something."

"I HAVE!"

He didn't mean to shout, but Andromeda wouldn't stop talking. "Starting Monday, Draco will be on very strict probation. It's the best I could get. There won't be a trial, but he's going to have to come Monday to speak with the Head Of Magical Law Enforcement. Most likely, he's going to be living with you even though he's going to be 18. Is that okay with you?" Andromeda's mouth dropped. "Is that- Kingsley that's perfect. Thank you." Kingsley nodded.

Out of no where a patronus of an otter showed up, "Andromeda, Mal- Draco's gone I can't find him anywhere."

Andromeda looked worriedly at Kingsley, "When does this parole start?"

"Technically Monday. Where do you think he'd go?"

* * *

Malfoy Manor:

Draco wasn't sure why he was there. Actually yes he did. Each room shared some type of memory. These memories were both amazing and terrifying and they flooded his already addled mind. He wasn't going to THAT room yet. He knew that much.

Walking up two flights of stairs, he made it to Lucius's office. It was a large, dark green room that had a large painting of Lucius. Stopping in front of it, "You know the hilarious thing is that I looked up to you. You were my bloody hero. I was so proud to be your kid, you know? But I was never good enough, was I?" He felt a tear slowly begin to slip. "I was second out of a class of 200, no, that still wasn't good enough. Then you went and got yourself arrested. You weren't here, and I hate you so much for it."

He was forced to think about sixth year, Dumblebore. "I was suppose to die, because of you. Mother had to deal with the public and it nearly killed her not to mention she was petrified that I'd die."

"Damn you for taking her from me. She actually cared, and LOVED ME!" His voice was becoming hoarse from all of the screaming he was doing. "All that I was to you was a potential clone. You wanted me to a carbon copy of you. Well, I'm not your clone. I hope you burn in hell."

After his rant the outright depressing idea sunk in that he was his father's son. He did the same things to people that his father had done and this time he, Draco did kill someone.

Draco started to walk out of that room and he was a complete mess. He walked through the long hallways, and stopped at his bedroom. He walked in, for once in his life, he wasn't worried about designer robes, he wasn't as materialistic as he had been growing up.

He went over to a spot by his bed. He found what he was looking for. It was a picture of himself and Narcissa. It had to be his favorite, they were both at their happiest.

* * *

*Flashback*

**After Harry Potter and his friends escaped and The Dark Lord punished the inhabitants of Malfoy Manor, Narcissa got an idea, she needed to get out of the manor and so did Draco. It was after 2 a.m. Technically she could get punished but damn it at that moment she didn't care. Everyone was asleep, so she got ahold of a friend and it was all set in place.**

**She woke Draco up, and told him to come with her. Half asleep, they went to a dinky, small kitchen. "Mother what are we doing?" "You'll see." As she grabbed flour down from the self. **

**An hour later, both mother and son were on the floor, covered in flour and both of them were laughing hysterically. They had started to make pancakes, which turned to Narcissa tossing a hand full of flour at Draco and things escalated from there. She grabbed the camera that she had and took a picture of the moment.**

* * *

*Return to reality*

Draco grabbed the picture and held it close to his chest. Oh, mom. He thought aloud. He laid his head on his bed, the picture still at his chest. This was the most quiet the manor had been.

"Draco!" He could hear someone screaming, "I'm going mad." He thought in his head. Then he heard it again. The whiskey had done it's job. Everything was blurred and he felt his eyes drooping.

Andromeda had Kingsley with her. She wasn't sure if he'd even be there but he wasn't anywhere else. "Andromeda. I got him. He's passed out." Relief was shown on her face. Kingsley was holding him and she noticed that he was holding something, grabbing it she understood a little. Kingsley sighed, "He was holding it." "Thanks."

June 4th,

* * *

Andromeda and Draco got back a little late. Hermione was already asleep. Waking up a few hours later, Hermione woke up with a blanket covering her, she folded the blanket and told Andromeda she was leaving.

After Hermione walked in the kitchen finding Ginny "Hey Ginny?"

"Hey."

"Where's Ron and Harry?"

"They had to go to Diagon Ally, I'm not sure why."

"I need your help."

"What's going on?"

"It's about Malfoy. Before you tell me I've gone mad, listen. His birthday's tomorrow and with everything that's just happened with his parents, I just want to get his mind off things for a little while."

"Hermione, I love you, you know I do but what the hell are you thinking? We're talking about Malfoy here."

After seeing the look on Hermione's face, Ginny sighed, "Okay I'm in, what do you need help with? Ron's gonna love this."

"I got Ron, you work with Harry."

* * *

A/N:

Special thanks to: HallowRain8587 for the song and your reviews made me squeal

aliceindeepdarkwonderland: Yeah I'm back, I meant to message you but it didn't happen

For everyone whose followed and added this story to their favorites thanks a lot! :)

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Hey guys so this was not my best chapter. Sorry about that. My iPod went missing and I write my stories on it so :( But it's been returned so now I have a small hope for humanity.

So tell me what you think? Please**! **


	6. Chapter 6: Beautiful world

Beautiful World:

Sunlight creeps in between the curtains  
Lose the sheets there's no time for sleep  
I lie, I pretend 'til I'm almost certain  
It's a beautiful world

Carolina Liar

Disclaimer: Keeping this short and sweet. I live in poorest part of North Carolina, I own nothing except the plot, people!

* * *

June 4th (continued)

Once Hermione told Ron her plan, Ron looked at Hermione like she'd lost it. "Hermione we're talking about Malfoy. The same git who made it his mission in life to make our lives hell and now you feel sorry for him."

"First off, how can you not feel sorry for him. I know what he's done in the past, but it's the past. Both of his parents are dead, he was forced to leave his house. So yeah, I feel sorry for him. No one deserves that."

Ron looked at her, his expression was softening, "Don't get me wrong, I do feel sorry for him, but it's hard for me to just put 6 years of him torturing us, behind me. I'll be nice to him, but don't expect me to become buddy buddies with him."

Hermione threw her arms around Ron, "thank you!" "Can I ask you something ?" Hermione nodded.

"Why are you so willing to help him?"

She didn't know the answer, "I'd want for anyone to it do for me."

Andromeda's house:

It was after 10. Draco woke up in the guest room at his aunt's house, his head was banging. "Hey Sleepy Head. How are you feeling?" Andromeda was standing at the door.

"Like sh-crap." Andromeda smiled. "Here, take this. We need to talk, I'll be in the kitchen." She handed him a vial. "Thanks." After he took the potion, he cleaned himself up then he made it to the kitchen.

Andromeda looked at him, she was thinking. "I have good news. There won't be a trial but you'll be on strict probation and you'll have to stay with me. This is literally your last chance. Guess you're stuck with me!" He looked shocked. After a few minutes of nothing being said, Andromeda spoke again.

"Draco, can I ask about what happened last night?"

He didn't remember anything. "What do you mean?"

"You got smashed and went to the manor."

His mouth dropped and he tried to close it, he covered his face in his hands. "I don't know."

"In that case, you're the literal definition of a lightweight."

"How bad was it?" He wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

Andromeda got up and walked over to the counter and grabbed something. Returning, she handed him the picture of him and Narcissa, she found a pretty nice frame to put it in.

"I'm guessing this is the reason you went, you were holding on to it for dear life last night. And I got the okay to both of us to grab the rest of the stuff."

He didn't hear any of it, he was so transfixed on the picture. It hit him like someone socked him with a brink that it was only five days after his mother died and yet it felt like she's been gone for years.

"Draco?" He left his thoughts to look at his aunt. "I'm sorry what?" "You say 'what' a lot. We've been given permission to grab anything else that you want or need so that there won't be any more frantic searches. You had Hermione pretty worried."

"Woah, what?!"

"I swear." Andromeda shook her head laughing.

"I just don't get why she was worried about me. I was an ass to her for six years, I just stood there and did nothing while She tortured her." His eyes were forlorn. The emphases was on She.

Andromeda thought to herself. He had that same tortured look on his face on the night Narcissa died when he had that nightmare and some things were starting to click.

She grabbed his hand and could feel him shaking. She asked quietly, "When you say She, do you mean Bellatrix? I've heard you say her name at night."

Well, he would scream it, really. The rare times that he could sleep, he was plagued with nightmares. It had gotten to the point to where Andromeda had to put a silencing spell on Teddy's room and she also used a *muggle baby alarm* to hear when Teddy was awake.

"Draco, what did she do to you?" Andromeda was starting to feel sick with all the thoughts that were going through her head, she knew her older sister's reputation.

"I just- I. Can't. She." He couldn't even talk, his heart was pounding against his chest, he started sweating profusely.

Andromeda didn't know what to do so she walked around pulled him into her chest and whispered "It's going to okay." At this point, he was completely inconsolable. He didn't try to stop her from touching him this time, so that made her feel a tad better.

What in the hell did you do, Bella? She knew something definitely had to have happened. She was determined that she'd find out.

After his meltdown, Draco was sitting on the porch admiring how beautiful nature was. Looking back, He knew that Andromeda cared about him, though he wasn't sure why. It still was too surreal about how much Andromeda and Bellatrix favored each other. Andromeda had lighter hair and softer eyes. She was such an easier person to deal with. He heard footsteps so he was thinking it was Andromeda, looking back he didn't expect to see Hermione standing there. "I left my bag this morning."

"Did you find it?" He seemed genuinely curious.

She was taking aback. By the looks of it, he was sober and he didn't call her a mud blood yet. It made her think that maybe he's finally grown up.

"Yeah, hey I've got a question. You can tell me to go to hell or whatever. It's going to happen no matter what you say, anyway. But what are you doing tomorrow?"

"What's tomorrow?" He was confused.

"The last I heard it was your birthday." Hermione said perplexed.

Damn, that's what it was. "I really haven't thought about it. Why?"

"Because you're coming with me. Be up by eight!" "Why?" He repeated.

" Because I'm 9 months older than you, so deal with it." She beamed at that, as soon as she did, she erupted in laughter. Before he knew it he was laughing too. When they stopped laughing, Draco asked, "What's Weasley and Potter think about this or have you not told them?"

"Oh they know. At first they thought I was mental, but they're cool with it. I've got to go but don't think about trying to get out of this, I'm telling you, I will drag you out of bed or splash water on you ." Where is this sass coming from? She couldn't tell.

"Hey Granger." "Yeah?" He started to thank her, but the words didn't come out. "You're welcome." "W-how?" he stammered "It's not that hard to figure out, you guys act like it's rocket science. See you tomorrow." "See you." There was so much that he wanted to ask but no words came out.

* * *

A/N:

Woo! Two updates this week! Success!

So what happened between Bellatrix and Draco? Let me hear your thoughts

Thank you to the new followers, thank you to my reviewers. Pretty much if you've read it, thanks!


	7. Chapter 7:All you wanted (Part 1)

All you wanted: (Part 1)

I didn't know that it was so cold

And you needed someone

to show you the way

So I took your hand and we figured out

That when the time comes

I'd take you away

Michelle Branch

* * *

"It's not that hard to figure out. See you tomorrow." Her words were echoing in Draco's head.

After Hermione had left, Draco had a very small grin on his face. He wasn't sure why, but he liked talking to Granger, maybe it was because of the fact that all of his friends were either in prison or dead, but she was quickly becoming a large distraction from everything that had happened. A distraction that he longed more than anything to keep.

"You're gonna drag her down and then she'll be as broken as you.." A small voice started taunting him. "Shut up." He said quietly as not to disturb his Aunt who was in the next room. "Ooh you've officially gone bonkers, talking to yourself is alright but once you start to answer yourself... No comebacks."

Please stop, he begged. He shook his head and joined Andromeda, her face was ashen, as she stared at a black stain in the carpet. She looked at Draco, "What happened?" He hadn't seen her like that, she looked terrified "Boggert, I hate those things." She muttered.

"What's your boggert?" He asked carefully.

Andromeda sighed, "I'll tell you mine if you tell yours." "I don't know what mine is." Andromeda's jaw dropped, it was like she found that hard to believe. "Can you cast a patronus?" He shook his head. "Could your mum do it?" "Yeah, her's was a swan. I'd seen her do a few times." That makes sense, Andromeda thought. "Okay so now we have to figure out yours."

"Death Eaters don't have patronuses." Andromeda flinched, and when she spoke her voice had steel to it.

"Okay number 1, don't ever call yourself that again. Your mother told me how you were forced into it. My boggert's Teddy being dead, I mean I can't fathom losing either one of you but-" "You're closer to Teddy." He finished for her.

"That came out so wrong but yeah. He's the only part of my daughter that I've got left. Listen, going back to the patronus, I'll start teaching you."

"Am I even allowed to use magic?"

"From what I'm getting from it, yes. The Ministry's binding your wand, so that you can use only basic spells, like first aid and defense spells which happens to include patronuses. I think you'll get your wand back on Monday. Hell, you're allowed to go back to Hogwarts. Speaking of Hogwarts, are you going back?"

Draco shrugged, not mentioning he could do wand less magic, it was just something he happened to be good at. "I don't know." No one's would want me back. He thought to himself.

"So what do you want to eat tomorrow?" "Food's, food, it doesn't matter to me." "You've got to be kidding me, you're going to be eighteen. You have to want something to special eat." She said as she walked out, with the wheels turning in her head.

* * *

The Burrow: 10 o'clockish.

Hermione could finally sat down and relax, and ooh it felt so good. Ron was dead to the world, Ginny came in the room, and signaled for her to come with her. Hermione followed Ginny into another room. Ginny started looking flustered. "I helped you with your weird need to help Malfoy, now I really need your help, I need a wedding dress." "Ginny, the wedding is two months away, breathe." "Do you know how fast two months go by? I'll be showing by then-" she threw her hands over her mouth as she cursed under her breath.

"Ginny what do you mean? Are you pregnant?"

She nodded, "I'm a few weeks along, I haven't told anyone else yet." "You haven't told Harry?" Ginny shook her head. "Ginny!? What do you need my help for?"

"I need help buying the dress, it's, I want to say, 500 gallons. I'll pay you back I promise!"

"I'll give you half of it, okay?" Ginny nodded, "Thank you so much." She threw her arms around Hermione's neck. "So how's everything going with your new cause?" Hermione looked confused. "I'm talking about Malfoy."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"He's not my 'new cause', he's just grown up. Ginny, he's nothing like the person we were in school with. Like last night he was plastered, so I figured that was clouding his thought, but today he was sober and he didn't say anything rude, and I guess it has something to do with Voldemort, and his mom, but he's different."

"It's really nice what you're wanting to do for him, even though I can't understand why, just don't trust him completely."

"I'm not. I just want to be able to say I tried, you know? You look exhausted."

Ginny nodded, "So do you. Night Hermione."

"Night."

Hermione closed her eyes and she was knocked out two seconds later.

June 5th:

Andromeda's house:

Draco didn't sleep that night, he kept tossing and turning. He knew where the dreamless potions were, but he never liked them. They always made him groggy, which was to be expected. So when 7:50, came around he went and took a shower, after he got out he looked in the mirror and he was astonished. He looked like a skeleton, that was from the not eating, he had dark circles under his eyes, wow. Needless to say, he looked like hell.

Shaking his head, he went to get dressed. He had no idea what Granger was planning on doing, so he grabbed jeans and a white t shirt. Uhh, he was not ready to do this.

He wondered if Andromeda knew Granger was planning, making his way downstairs, he got his answer. Both women were sitting on the couch, talking in hushed tones. "Am I interrupting?" Andromeda stood up, "Nope, you're going with her for a few hours, just check in to let me know you're alive, every once in a while. Kay?"

Draco smirked. "Yeah."

Andromeda walked over and gave him a hug, whispering in his ear. "Happy Birthday. Have fun, and be good." Turning towards Hermione she said. "Okay, Hermione, he's all yours. If you'll excuse me I'm going back to sleep."

With that, Andromeda left the room. Hermione smiled, "You ready?" "You've already told me I don't have a choice, so I guess."

Looking at his clothes, she said, "You're really going to need those." When he looked confused, she reached out her hand and he took a deep breath and grabbed it. They were both full of uncertainty.

* * *

TBC

...

A/N: Thank you for your reviews, follows, and favorites! Seriously you guys are the best. Next chapter will be up in a week


	8. Chapter 8: All You Wanted (Part 2)

All you wanted

(Part 2)

If you want to

I can save you I can take you away from here

So lonely inside so busy out there

And all you wanted was somebody

Who cares

-Michelle Branch

* * *

Draco hated the feeling of apparating. It made him lightheaded, plus he couldn't eat anything that morning. So with both of those things combined, he grasped Hermione's hand tighter. Concerned, Hermione yanked her hand away. "Are you okay?"

"Hate... Apparating." That was all she could understand.

"Sit down. I'm serious, you look ready to pass out." He sat down without thought. "When's the last time you ate more than two bites? I know for a fact, that Andromeda has enough food."

The blond just shook his head, "I just haven't had an appetite for a while."

"That's when you make yourself eat."

Reaching in her bag, she grabbed a bag full of sandwiches, and handed it to him. "You. Eat. Now." She gave him a look, it was stern. "Well then."

He scoffed but he looked at it.

Hermione sighed, "It's not poisoned, it's ham and cheese."

"Yes Ma'am." He took a bite, though he rolled his eyes and felt a little nauseous; it was the way he usually felt when it came to eating. Hermione looked accomplished at him taking a bite. I'm so good. She though to herself.

He sighed, and she could tell that he was wrestling with something, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why are you really doing this? You don't owe me anything. I mean, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, but the fact still remains that I gave you hell in school, I gave you all hell, I-I. what I'm trying to say is this just a pity thing? If it is, please just tell me."

Hermione looked at him and judging by the nervousness in his voice, he was worried that it was all just pity. She took a deep breath choosing her words carefully. "Look, don't get me wrong, I feel awful for you, I can't imagine what happened to you or how it feels and I don't even know the whole story. So yes, some of it is pity, the rest of it is, I'd want someone to do it for me if I was in your position. As for you ruining my friends', and my own, school lives; the past is in the past it's going to be really hard, don't get me wrong… I've forgiven you, but with everyone else...you've still got to try to fix it. That's all you can do, is try." She finished not being totally sure if it came out right. Neither one spoke for a while.

"Thanks." He whispered. She was shocked.

"You're welcome." Standing up she grabbed a pair of gardening gloves out of her bag and handed them to him. "You have to remember I'm kinda new with being your friend, and I have no idea what you like to do so I did the only thing my mum and I do. So, have you ever planted a garden?"

"Maybe." He smirked.

"Now, my image of you has been shot; why would you do that to me ?" He smiled and Hermione thought she heard a laugh, it was ever so small, but still very present.

"It's a long story."

"I had a lot of with getting it set up with the plants and everything so the next time you see the Weasly's and Harry, be nice." She didn't mention that everyone except Mr. and Mrs. Weasly were against it at first, they thought that it was something good to get his mind off of things.

They spent the whole time talking, some laughs were shared. She learned that when he was five, he fell off a broom and broke his leg. He learned that she bit her mother at her first dentist appointment. They were both matched intellectually, for the areas that she lacked in, he informed her and the same with him. He was still a tad arrogant but he had grown up so much since sixth year that it was like whip lash.

By the time,they were done, they were both drenched in sweat. Hermione was plumped against the fence and he went and joined her. The garden looked beautiful. Hermione spoke, "Happy Birthday, Mal- Draco." He nodded. "Thanks. Listen, I can't believe that I'm going to ask this and you can tell me to go to hell, but can we keep doing things like this?" He couldn't understand why he said it, and it showed when his cheeks were flushed, after he asked.

Hermione smiled, "Yeah, anytime." She was happy that he was the one who asked. Because she was wanting to say the same thing. She felt attached, almost protective over him for some reason. Things may get to be rather interesting, she thought.

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A/N:

Woo! 22 followers! 8 favorites!

This chapter ends on a good note! That is a very rare thing for me to do. I was a genius and accidentally deleted the flipping chapter and this is the rewrite. It's shorter than usual

Thanks for the reviews!

REVIEW! Feed the starving writer! Love you guys!

So I've gotten a message saying that my story is too depressing and angsty that's just the way I write. I can not write a happy story to save my life. Last time I tried, I wrote a story about a cat, and the cat got ran over in the end and a vulture was pecking at her face. It's impossible!

I'm pretty sure that this story will end happily, maybe. I like the characters in it so it has a good chance.

Another thing, I usually hate using Mary Jane Characters, I can't stand stand them, they bug me for some reason. The reason I'm saying this in the next few chapters I'm introducing a character, and he or she may end up being a main character. I'm not totally sure.


	9. Chapter 9:Unwell

Unwell

All day staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

Matchbox 20

* * *

One week later

After Draco's birthday, Hermione kept her word and she'd continued coming over and they would just talk nothing too personal but enough for their friendship to build. To everyone else except Andromeda, Draco and Hermione being friends were so beyond weird and still incredibly new.

For Andromeda, she could tell the difference of when Draco and Hermione hung out and when they didn't. When they did, Draco couldn't hide how much he enjoyed the few hours that he was out of the house. He was smiling more, and seemed happier, however his sleeping patterns was still an issue, if anything, they were worse. He was going on not even one hour per night.

* * *

June 10th

10:00

Andromeda had woken up and her house was spotless, and on top of that, Draco cooked breakfast, smelling it was delectable. "Nice job, but what happened to sleeping?" She asked amused because sure her house wasn't a complete mess but she stopped dusting and the deep cleaning after Ted died, so it would have taken a long while for Draco to do it.

"Screw sleeping, I've got this." "Uh huh. Draco,sweetheart, you have worse circles under your eyes than a raccoon and that's saying a lot. You've gotta be exhausted."

He frowned. In truth, he couldn't keep his eyes open, and he was getting to the point of not being able to tell the difference of when he was awake or asleep. That fact scared him more than facing a dementor, but he refused to sleep. But still, he refused to whine about it. Andromeda had already done so much for him.

"Another question. Why are you wearing sleeves? It's close to 90 degrees, outside."

He shrugged and tried walking away when she grabbed his right arm. Crap. He tried to pull away and she held his arm tighter. Pulling up his sleeve and she couldn't help by noticing the way he flinched as she did it, Andromeda's jaw dropped. "What happened?" His arm had a large burn on it, by looking at it, it was hurting her arm. What if there's more?

Feeling his other arm, she checked that arm and all that was on it was old scars and that Mark. That Mark stole her husband and daughter… No stop, it wasn't him, she said in her head. He quickly replied. "I'm fine, I wasn't paying attention and I caught it on the stove." "Let me guess, you started falling asleep." He looked ready to reply until she continued. "Sit your butt down and I'll be back, and don't you dare move or we're going to have a big problem."

Grabbing the salve and some bandages, she returned to the kitchen. Trying to calm down she grabbed his arm and stared at him. That's it, she's going to talk to Molly. It was a last resort and she'd reached it. The boy will end up killing himself, if she didn't do something soon.

Returning, she grabbed his right arm again, and started applying the salve. He winced as her hand made contact with the burn, "I'm not going to lie, this pisses me off..." Pointing at his arm, "You've got to tell me when you get hurt. Magical laws will be all over me, if something happens to you."

"I'm sorry." He replied absentmindedly. His eyes were glazed over and he looked straight over her shoulder. Turning around, she saw nothing, she started to feel really freaked out, when he wouldn't even blink.

"Draco?" Nothing.

Sighing, Andromeda got up after she unplugged the stove and went to her fireplace. Teddy was at Molly's anyway. "The Burrow."

Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny were sitting on the couch, "Ginny sweetheart, Where's your Mom?" Ginny started to reply when Molly walked in holding sleeping Teddy. "Andromeda-" "I'm so sorry to come here, unannounced like this, but I need help." Molly noticed how anxious she seemed and handed the baby to Ginny "Come on."

Molly and Andromeda made it in the kitchen and Molly put silencing spells on the door. "What's wrong?" "Draco's not sleeping, some nights he manages to get an hour and I don't think he wants to but Molly, he's burning himself by falling asleep and I have no fucking clue on what to do. Nymphadora never did anything like this and I need help."

Molly took a deep sigh, "Normally I'd say let him work it out on his own, but if he's getting hurt, I'd say give him something, a potion, anything. Here, I've got the best thing." She walked out to a cabinet and took out a potion. "Put three drops of this in his lunch, or his drink which ever one. It's scentless. Now he might be out for a few days, and this isn't a dreamless sleep potion, but it'll give him the sleep that he needs."

Andromeda hated the idea of drugging Draco, but he needed to sleep, more than anything. "Molly, thank you. I'll come back for Teddy later today, okay? Do you need anything for him?"

"No dear, Teddy's fine. If that potion doesn't work, you will have to take Draco to St. Mungo's. Let me know how it goes." Andromeda nodded.

/-/-:-:-:/-::/;/::;:::;:/:-;/

After Andromeda left, Draco was pacing the kitchen, crap, there was nothing else to do. The house was clean and he couldn't stay awake, think Draco. Gotta stay awake. He was so fucked. His arm was an accident, he fell asleep standing up, but Merlin, it hurt and it took his mind off of how tired he was.

He heard a Pop and realized that Andromeda was back, wetting his face with water Draco went to go sit back down. Thump, thump, thump, went his fingers or was it his heart? Everything was so foggy. God, he's losing it.

Andromeda walked in the kitchen and he looked at her. "Hey. I'm going to the bathroom." "Do you want anything? I'm making lunch, because you did breakfast." Getting up, Draco replied, "Sure, a glass of water's fine." After he left, she grabbed him a glass and put three drops of the colorless potion and filled it with water. Honey, I'm so sorry. She said in her mind.

Once he returned, he grabbed the glass of water and almost downed it at once. It took a few seconds for it to take effect but once it did, blunk. He was knocked out. Just to check Andromeda picked up his arm and it plopped down and he didn't even stir.

She got him to the couch and grabbed him a blanket. For a few seconds he looked peaceful and then the nightmares came.

* * *

TBC:

This is my longest chapter ever!

Hey guys. Sorry for the delay, I'm going through finals and won't be done until the 17th, so updating won't be as much.

So Andromeda drugged Draco what do you think his reaction will be when he finally comes to? Let me hear your thoughts.

I'm looking for a Beta so if you're interested let me know.

Thanks for reading, following favoriting.


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